Todays Back to Blogging assignment is to re-upload a post that you wish more people had read and explain why it was important to you.

This post reminds me that even when you think all hope is lost, when you feel as though you are ready to give up that you never know what lies ahead of you. I experienced an honest to God miracle and I am fortunate to have two very special reminders that no matter what anything is possible.
When I was struggling to have children I felt so alone and isolated. I didn't know anyone who was going through infertility and I didn't have anyone that could understand how much I wanted to be a mother. I wrote this post for several reasons one was to celebrate the twins and the other was so that just maybe someone that was going through a difficulty or struggle would be able to find hope in my experience.

Heckle and Jeckle and realizing that somethings are
meant to be~

The one thing that I always knew I wanted to do in life was be a mom. After years of struggles and issues and having my sweet little Rorie I managed to get pregnant again. However, the universe had other plans and my sweet little angel was never meant to be mine. I still remember very vividly the pain and despair I felt, the loss that still goes with me sometimes. I had never before nor since felt that kind of pain and those closest to me know that I completely fell apart. My life and marriage was in shambles and then September 11 happened and every ones lives were turned upside down, things that seemed important evaporated in the aftermath and something else happened too. Those of us that were on the outside looking in were able to count our blessings and put our lives in order. In November my Husband started talking about trying to have another baby. I was against it, I was still having such a hard time coping with the feelings of my lost little baby, November was when my baby would have been born and I was so afraid to try again. After the first of the year hubs began to bring it up again and I was still very resistant. Valentines day was quickly approaching and Hubs was getting more persistent I told him I had no desire to go through the medicine and shots the rigorous schedules the temperature taking and tracking. So I gave in on a few conditions it was a one shot deal I agreed to try one more time. No medicine, no charts, absolutely nothing and if it didn't work I would never try again. I can honestly say I just knew it wouldn't work, Hubs had the flu and I had no idea if I could even ovulate on my own so I was feeling pretty confident at that point that I would have RoRo as my one and only. This is the point in which God laughed and I don't mean chuckled, I mean fell on the floor rolling around nearly pee your pants laughing, because a few weeks later I threw up and not just once. So of course the husband runs to the store to buy the pee test at which point I was furious because Lord knows I had single-handedly kept EPT in business for years and you can't buy just one so he came home with several. I waited a few days and convinced myself it was a stomach flu until I was late. So I took the tests all of them and the all came out positive. I was in shock and scared. I knew not to get my hopes up so I called the doc and went in for the tests. The first blood tests showed very low numbers so I was prepared for the worst and over the next two weeks I went in every few days for more blood work and on the final day Doc says, I think we need an ultrasound. I thought to myself, here we go again. We got ready, got a baby sitter for Ro and went to the Doctor. I assumed the position on the table and the hubby grabbed a chair and in comes the sweet little ultrasound tech and finds the babies, yes I said babies, there were originally three but there sat in my belly two little heartbeats strong and healthy. Needless to say Hubs nearly passed out and all I could do was cry there they were my two little babies. After a difficult pregnancy and a tense seven months my babies were born my little man at 5lbs and 6oz and my princess Lyla 3lbs and 1 oz. We were so blessed, they were able to come home after only two weeks even though everyone thought it would be months, they defied the odds. In just a few weeks they will be 7 years old. It doesn't seem like seven years. They are amazing little people . They are funny and infuriating, strong and sensitive they are each others opposites. They have balance and they bring us all more entertainment than anyone should have. And each time I look at them I remind myself that no matter how bad something seems, you never know what waiting around the corner for you and that there is so much truth in the saying, "When one door closes, another one opens".




This post is written to play along with SITS and their Back to Blogging event.
If you would like to join in then stop by and link up!

This week, I will be taking a look back at what got me blogging in the first place and get back to the root of blogging and that is making connections with people.
There is a contest to try and win a Turquoise Sky Washer and Dryer from Electrolux. Which I desperately need since I have just gone through my third washer this year!

This event is sponsored by SITS, Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances.

I have been living with chronic illness for a very long time, I don't remember when it all actually started, mostly because I have very little memory left. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant 11 yrs ago. I've spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on meds and Dr's and tests only to be told I may have Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, MS, or various other Autoimmune diseases. A few years ago after a really bad experience with a physician I gave up and resigned myself to a life filled with pain and a mystery diagnosis.

Over the last 8 months I have been having a lot of problems with my vision. I wrote it off to eyestrain, too much time on the computer and spending too much time crocheting. On one very rare day by myself I stopped by the eye doctor to get glasses. If you haven't been read about that day please look here

Any way I got most of my tests back last week and I found out I do not have Ms or Lupus which is really good news. The day after my birthday I got my MRI done and found out that I have a Brain Tumor, well not really a brain tumor a Pituitary Tumor. So needless to say I have been burning up google to find out everything I can. What I know so far is I AM NOT CRAZY, ok that's not completely true we all know I am a little crazy, just a different kind. I have probably had this for a very long time and it explains 75% of my medical issues. There are still more tests to be done. I am going to see an Endocrinologist to have a Pituitary and Thyroid panel done and at that point we will determine the best course of action.

One thing I found out is that this is one of the most commonly misdiagnosed illnesses there are, many people that suffer from Chronic illness actually have malfunctioning Pituitary Glands. I know this sounds crazy but when the doctor gave me the news I was relieved. I know that there is still a long way to go, but I have a chance now to get my life back at least most of it.

If you know someone that has been suffering with chronic illnesses, who feels as if they have lost their minds and are at the end of their ropes I encourage you to go to www.Pituitary.Org to see if they have possibly been misdiagnosed as well. It is my hope that if nothing else I can shed some light on this disorder and if just one person can get diagnosed early and not have to go through what I have this will have all been worth it.

I do want to take a minute to say thank you to everyone that has wished me well and encouraged me to hang in there, it means the world to me.

Here we are, a new decade, wow it's funny how time slips away so quickly. I find myself reading up on all the blogs. I know that it's that time..New Years Resolutions but I don't find myself really wanting to make any. It has become more and more difficult for me to make plans and look ahead too far. As most of you know I am hinging on the edge of an MS Diagnosis, I have been avoiding it as much as possible. So I am guessing if I were going to make any resolutions it would go something like this.

1. Learn to take better care of myself.
2. Stop avoiding the inevidable face my illness head on and seek the proper treatment.
3. Work on my relationships with my family and friends.
4. Give the kids more boundaries, stop letting them run the house because I don't have the energy or ability to battle with them.
5. Continue to laugh every chance I get, even when I feel like crying.
6. Appreciate each moment as much as possible.
7. Learn to ask for help more often instead of feeling like I am the only one that can do anything.
8. Even if I don't feel like it force myself to get out and do at least one outing every month.
9. Stop trying to be superwoman.
10. Realize I am not in this alone.

I have been very fortunate. This move has opened my eyes so much.  I am surrounded by wonderful friends and an amazing support system. It is still hard for me to ask for help but luckily I have great friends that don't require instructions, they just jump in and start helping whether I want them to or not.
I am blessed and I know it . I am just having to learn to step back and let go and realize that somethings can wait, everything doesn't have to be perfect and I have so many people that are here to catch me if I trip, stumble or fall.