Saturday, January 9, 2010

Heading down the path...

So the hubby and the bestie managed to bully me into going to the Dr. Friday. See I had come up with at least 800 reasons why I wasn't able to keep my appointment. But I sucked it up and went.

The  goal in seeing the MS Neurologist was to rule out MS. Well after 5 long hours of rediculous tests I was instructed to leave to go see another specialist.
Now don't get me wrong this Dr was very wonderful. Dr. Rosa Tang is an optic neurologist in Houston she is amazing. She sent me over to see Dr. Susan Wittenberg  and Dr. Prader who are optic immunoligists. Dr Prader ran me through some tests then an optic ultrasound. This is to determine if the occular muscle is inflamed.

Ok, so I'm thinking that is so weird how in the world do they do an ultrasound of your eyeball. Well even though they numb your eyes its pretty much like having a golf club stuck in your eye. So anyway Dr. Prader says the right eye is mildly inflamed and then he goes to the left eye and after shoving the golf club in my eye like eight times say "Oh wow can you hold on a minute this thing is huge, let me go get Dr. Wittenberg ( who by the way isn't seeing patients at the time but promptly comes in to see me) we talk for a short bit and she is ordering a ton of blood work and x-rays. Now Dr. Prader is one of the sweetest Dr's I have ever met he is very nice and very reassuring, however having a Dr react that way is always mildy disturbing.

Ok so here is what I know so far, most likely I do not have MS. Thats the good news. The not so good news is I definitly have one of the 800 needle in a hay stack Autoimmune diseases, the top of the list is Lupus. So we will see and I guess hopefully before too long we will know what the hell is wrong with me.

I went back and picked Roy up from work and we headed home my head pounding and I was feeling pretty much like my eyeballs were going to pop out of my head. We talked a lot about what we're facing and here's my point of view " It is what it is" , as much as I have put this off  it is time after 10yrs to get the bottom of this. I know that all of these diseases can be managed but I am not niave. I also know that there is a chance that I could die. The thing is we are all going to die at some point. Of course Roy said I probably need more life insurance because all we have is enough to bury me and my response was " No, you know I want to be cremated and divided up so everyone can have a little piece of me hanging around, he then responded with " I need one of those things that I can put on my key chain so I can carry you around with me everywhere I go, and I of course laughed my ass off and said "omg that is a great idea and then everytime you start to do something stupid you can imagine me still there yelling at you and telling you how to do it right" which was then followed with "yeah and I could have WWSD put on it" (what would Steph do) ok I am pretty sure a lot of you are thinking is she really joking about death, does she really take it that lightly.  My answer is yes I am joking and laughing and no I don't take it lightly but, IT IS WHAT IT IS, and I will not spend the rest of my life crying and feeling sorry for myself. Am I pissed?  Thats putting it mildly, but not becuase I'm sick, but becuase I don't want the people who love me to have to go through this. I have been there, I watched my grandmother deteriorate and die way too young and it was horrific. She didn't handle it well, she gave up and I never forgave her for that. I wanted her to fight until the very end but she didn't. I will fight, I will laugh until I cry and I will make inaapropriate jokes and remarks in order to cope with all of this crap. But the one things my kids will know is that I won't give up.

**Side Note I stopped in the middle of writing the blog because Dr. Tang called me  ( at 5:30 on a Saturday evening) to check and see how I was doing and if I got to see Dr. Wittenberg. I told her about the visit and that I have to go for more tests and she was very concerned, I told her my eyes were killing me and I look like Quasimoto and she said to hang on while she called in a prescription to my pharmacy because she didn't want me to suffer until I got back to Dr. Wittenberg at the end of the week. She then told me she was going to order me an MRI for the same day so I wouldn't have to drive all the way to Houston more than once. I thanked her repeatedly and then explained that I was confused because she is after all an MS specialist and she is sure I don't have Ms so why is she still checking on me and ordering tests and she said that MS is just one of her specialties and that she will continue to work hand in had with Dr. Wittenberg until they come to the correct diagnosis and can find me a specialist closer to home. Now I don't know about you but I can honestly say that at this point I could not be more impressed, I have never had a Dr. go to such lengths to check on me or make sure that I was being cared for properly.

So thats the long and short of it, I'm not dying today, and hopefully won't be any time soon. I still look like Quasimoto and feel like I got hit in the face by a train but I am here hanging in and bound and determined to continue to do so.

15 comments:

Veronica Lee said...

Hi! I'm visiting from MBC. Great blog.

MinTenn said...

Just joined from MBC. Look forward to reading your blog.
http://wifeofhousehubby.blogspot.com

Xenia said...

Thanks for stopping by, I'm following you back now.

I'm so impressed with your attitude and all of the fighting that you're clearly ready to do! It really is great that you have such a wonderful doctor looking out for you and I'm sending all of my best-of-health wishes your way!

Ruby said...

You are so brave i don't think i would have the engergy to even blog but im so happy for you that you have such caring doctors on your side. wishing you the best.

thanks for stopping by my page just became a follower!

Jackie at 3littleones said...

thanks for stopping by! I'm following you now. I'm wishing you the best :)

Loco YaYa said...

its about danged time you went to the doctor!!

and yes...we will laugh and joke the whole way. until you get on my nerves. then i will just cut off your oxygen.

**gasp** yes. i. said. it.

love you mucho.

Busymom3 said...

omg YaYa, you know that no one loves you more than I do, you can't afford to cut off my oxygen no body else will put up with you and your ratty kids like I do, just like no one else will put up with me and mine, we're stuck sister, in for the long haul!

Candice said...

hi there- new follower from mbc- nice to meet you :)

Jamee said...

You poor thing! I can sympathize with being bounced from doctor to doctor. Hopefully the find you some answers soon!

Following from MBC :)

Melissa said...

First, thanks for stopping by my blog!
Now...you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers, for the best possible out come. I understand the waiting game when you are sick. I have done the same, and now that I want to make that specialist appt. that my Dr recommended, the darn girl at work can't commit to a schedule..UGH! That's another post though. So on w/ it...death is just what it is. We are gonna go when we go no matter what. (that's how I feel anyway) so living life worrying about dying does nothing but keeps you from living life. Your kids deserve a mom who is happy and loving life, not one that gives up and in to some disease!
Stay strong!

Busymom3 said...

Melissa,
Thank you for the kind words, I do appreciate it. The one thing I know for sure is I'm too stubborn to give in to any of this. I read your blog about Bipolar. My ds whose 7 sounds so much like this, he has been diagnosed with ADHD but the meds just make him worse. So we are going to try some alternative therapies. I would love to talk more with you about this if you have the time.

Kasey@ All Things Mamma said...

That does not sound fun - but I'm glad you went and got it done! Now, you can deal with whatever you need to be and you won't have the anxiety of putting it off. Keep us updated!

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

So glad to hear that it's not MS. Hoping you have an answer for what it is, soon!

Lucky for you for having such an awesome doctor.

Kim said...

WOW! I know that I'm just now "meeting" you (you visited my blog through MBC and I'm here visiting you now) but I have now added you to my prayer list.

It's good to hear that you have such a good outlook on it all. That will go a long way.

Nice to "meet" you!

Cindy said...

That is a good doctor when they call to check on you and that she wants to figure out what is wrong. My experience was fighting with the doctor because I knew something was wrong and her telling me I was fine. Well, after an MRI and spinal tap it turned out to be MS. It was a relief to know, but grief because something was seriously wrong with me at age 26.
You hang in there! things will get better, I promise.
Thanks for checking out my blog.