OK so I have been growing my hair out for a while now. Part of me says I'm going to donate it, part of me says I'm just too busy to go get it cut. But now I have a problem. I'm stressed and most of the time when I am stressed I take it out on my hair. So I am trying not to be impulsive and run down to the cut n dry and have it all whacked off to make myself feel better because I am pretty sure it would make me feel worse. So I am going to try something different I'm going to try to write it out.

First, my family is in transition right now, we have been going down a path for a few years and now that just doesn't seem to be working out so it's time for a change and we are busy looking at options and waiting on responses and frankly it's driving me crazy. I have patience, but I hate not having any control at all over things and right now everything is out of my control.

Second, I have finally decided to let someone go once and for all. I actually decided it a while back but I am still dealing with it. Its hard to grieve for someone. This person didn't die but has been dead to me for a while now and I know that sounds terrible. But my reasons are pure, this person is toxic to everyone they have ever encountered. They have hurt everyone around them and they have used anyone they ever thought could do something for them and after a few years I just want this person out of my life for good. No more dropping by unannounced, I don't want to know what goes on in their life and I don't want them any where near mine. I have never been a cruel person I have always tried to help anyone who has ever needed it regardless of if they ask or not. I am just so tired of being angry and disappointed. I am tired of hearing about their "perfect" life that they have built on the backs of everyone they have ever screwed over. I am tired of hearing about their "perfect" family all the while knowing about the family they abandoned without a second thought. Frankly I'm just done and if that makes me a terrible person then that's something I just have to live with but one thing I am not is fake and I can't pretend to agree with or even sit in the same room with a smile on my face with a person that has left so much destruction in their path.

Third, My person is having surgery soon. She has been waiting so long for it and she needs and deserves it but I'm worried. It's fairly routine but I still worry. She's my person and I'm supposed to worry about her, I know that she will be fine but still I worry.

There are a slew of other things that are making me crazier than normal going on right now but these are just my top three. I know that it will all level out, I know that whats going to happen is going to happen and there isn't anything I can do about it but still I worry and stress. So here I am desperately trying to resist my urge to chop off my hair, I know it sounds crazy but it's the one change I can control so still the question remains to snip or not to snip?

I haven't blogged in a while. It's not that I don't have anything to say I'm not sure if I want to say any of it out loud. There seems to be so much happening lately some good some not so good. The good is all the kids have been doing great in school. The volunteering has been not too busy but there's still so much to be done.
I finished up another crochet project, a baby blanket, hat and booties. They turned out pretty good. I'm still working on Ro's blanket.
The not so good, well I'm still not sure if I'm wanting to put it all out there.
I'm loving the touch of fall weather that we're finally getting here. Hopefully it will stay for a while.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I haven't posted in a while, not because I haven't had anything to say. There has been plenty going on as always, but I have been out of my medicine for almost a week so needless to say, my brain is in a haze and my body is wrecked. The good news is we finally have insurance so I can get my refills this week and hopefully get this brain on back on track.

I've been invaded by gremlins again, I should have known when the TV went out a couple of weeks ago that this wouldn't be the only incident, true to form they invaded my electric mixer as well which blew up in the middle of mashing potatoes the other night and then in which I can only hope is the icing on the cake the motor in my car blew up...Really? I know, I know, "when it rains it pours " blah blah blah. And then there's my old favorite "Adversity builds character" At this point I think I have enough character to last for at least three lifetimes.

So far the school year is going well, all three kids seem to really like their teachers and classes. We will be getting in full swing with the volunteering as Sept. and October are incredibly busy months. I also have a couple of other "outside" projects I am working on which I really hope do well. I am still working on my crochet projects and they are still starting to pile up.

I am trying to get rested up to get ready for the first big Football game this Friday, we will be tailgating first which the kids always enjoy. We have more family coming in this weekend. we are still working on the swimming pool repair which hasn't gone nearly as bad as I thought so far. There have been plenty of laughs involved and so far no broken bones so hopefully it will stay that way. But with the gremlins on the loose who knows what could happen next.

I've been seeing a lot of twittering going on about gratitude. I also saw that many are participating in a Gratitude challenge. It has me thinking a lot lately about what I am grateful for. There are so many things, my kids, my friends, my family, the life I have, my husband ( even though he drives me crazy most of the time) lol.
In this busy world that we live in it is so easy to get caught up in our everyday lives, all of the things that go wrong, the trials and struggles. I do believe that sometimes we have to be grateful for those things as well. My kids get so mad at me all of the time because when something happens to them I usually respond with "adversity builds character" which of course if always promptly followed by stomping feet and slamming doors. The truth is I actually believe this, I believe that with out the difficult times and getting off track you may never truly be able to see or appreciate the good things when they come along. These things don't have to be huge or life altering they can be as inconspicuous as a butterfly kiss.
So today I am grateful for good friends, a big ole Texas sky, a concert that made me feel young again (even if it was only for a few hours) a husband that tucked my kids in and kept them safe and kids that ran into my room this morning to hug and kiss me and tell me how happy they were that I didn't run away with the band.

It's that time of year again, the one that brings sadness for some and elation for others, yes you guessed it, School is about to start again. For most of us weary moms who are out of ideas to entertain the kids we cannot wait for that first school bell to ring. The kids are another story, some are excited, some nervous and some downright terrified.
Before we can send them off for that glorious first day there is one more terrible task we must complete...Back to School Shopping and so the story begins.

Since RoRo is 10 now I try to let her embrace her inner fashionista. My main rule is as long as nothing is hanging out or being exposed I am pretty much o.k. with letting her pick her own clothes. I do however reserve the right to veto any outfit that I feel will cause her to get taunted or teased, it is after all my duty to protect her as much as possible and make sure she never ends up as a "Glamor Don't".

Last night as I sat in bed catching up on my Tivo and surfing the web she comes into the room and says to me "Mom, I would like to talk to you and show you some pictures of the type of outfits I would like this year for school, I am going to be a 5th grader and my tastes are changing."
So here I am thinking o.k. this shouldn't be too bad, last year she was a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. Oh how wrong I was, as she flipped through the pictures and pulled up the websites all I could think was oh my gawd, you have got to be kidding me, I have been sucked into an evil time transporting worm hole and been firmly deposited right back into the 80's.

First it was the Converse which I will admit are quite cute these days however, when I wore converse we bought them at Gibsons and got them because they were the only thing we could afford and they were always the tell tale sign that you were too poor to get anything else. Second it was neon colored jeans, seriously they were a bad idea the first time why oh why are they on the racks at all of the stores taunting or little girls and torturing those of us who managed to burn every picture we ever had that was evidence that we were slaves to fashion and wore them the first time around. Last but not least it was the plaid, it is everywhere, in every color imaginable in every store, in every catalog and on nearly every website.

Is this some kind of joke? Did the Fashion Powers that be decide to punish those of us who made these horrible fashions popular the first time around. I really don't think that I can in good conscience purchase these items. I know in 15 years when she is looking back through her photos she is going to give me that horrified look and ask " How could you not love me enough to convince me that I had no business wearing this stuff." This is something I am sure of because I too have recently asked my own mother this question. I love my daughter very much, enough that I think I will allow her to hate me for saying no to the horrible resurrection of 80's fashion. I am sure someday she will thank me for it.