First of all I have to start by saying, I told myself I was going to try to write a little everyday. Whatever!! We plan and God laughs .. Alot.

This last week has been so crazy, but I knew I better sit down for a minute and put something on paper or laptop or whatever we are calling it.

Aerosmith was Amazing, it was worth waiting most of my life for and there is no one I would have rather shared that with. I spent the next two days trying to relieve some of my mommy guilt by spending extra time with the kids and taking them out. We went to see Transformers 2 and it was really good. I have to say though nothing got too me more than when Optimus Prime died and my sweet little boy climbed in my lap with a face full of tears.. could it be possible? Is there a chance that he will be sensitive? I know that Hubs has been known to cry at a commercial or two... but he was so sweet and all in all we had a good time, the kids loved the movie.

Monday I decided to run away, now this is not the 14 yr old version of runaway, this is call your Bff on the phone, check and see if she's up for the villagers, pack up all the kids and head out. So I am not really sure if its really running away when you take your kids with you. I will return home at some point. I am spending time getting my thoughts together. Helping YaYa get her house in order and hanging out with all my girls and our tribe.

Of course there is always some craziness going on around us, I guess that's what happens when your nearest and dearest include more than 10-20 people. We all love each other like family and when one is up in arms we're all up in arms. But the upside is there's always someone to catch you when you fall, call you on your crap, laugh with you till you cry and slap the shit out of you when you need it. Thank the Lord for great friends.

YaYa and I have been friends for such a long time now and here we are 11 yrs and 5 kids later still navigating the misadventures of motherhood. Its funny it seem even though looking at us you would never imagine us as friends, we have balance, and tons of laughs. Over the years the one thing we have always wanted was to find one project that would make our lives as moms easier. We think we have finally picked one and with any luck we can take all of our experiences, fun and laughter and put it together with much success.

Poor hubs he's been on his own for almost two weeks now. It was bound to happen, after 13 yrs he has forgotten how to cook. I am pretty sure he is starving to death. He has managed to find a crockpot so hopefully he will be able to scrounge enough sustenance to last him until we return.

YaYa's house remodel is coming along great. It is true that nothing makes you happier than seeing a beautiful finished product and know that you did it or helped do it. For many years I have wanted nothing more than for her to have a place of her own to do and decorate how she wanted. Lord knows that she has picked up a paintbrush too many times to count over the course of our friendship for me. So it is time for payback so I am here brush, screwdriver, hammer and nails in hand.

The doc has put me on a new med which has helped a great deal. I have had more days than not where I have felt almost like the supermom I set out to be. I have been able to do a lot of mental inventory, I am doing my best to reduce my stress and make the most of the life I have. I want to be able to give my friends and family the best parts of me with as many wonderful memories as I can.

There are so many things coming up Sunday is the Katy Perry concert that I have been holding over my daughters head so needless to say I will be looking for something new to manipulate her with after that's over.. We have a big end of summer party planned a week from Saturday so the renovations here at YaYa's are in high gear. School starts in a couple of weeks so I am hoping to get another beach trip in before the 24th.

I have fallen in love with my Iphone more and more each day, I love it and I will say that I am not sure how I ever functioned without it. It has offered me entertainment, efficiency and now piece of mind. On the trip to YaYa's as all of the kids were yelling, screaming and fighting and I had nearly reached my limit on the amount of times your allowed to say " if you don't stop that right now I am pulling this car over", It occurred to me that in my purse lay the headphone I had haphazardly thrown in there when I took the Iphone out of its box. I very calmly requested from my oldest to please hand them too me, I inserted them into the phone and then in my ears cranked up the tunes and finished my drive in a calm state delivering all of us safely to our destination. Again I say, " Thank you Apple for my Iphone which I love so very much."

WooHoo it worked I'm officially a techie I'm just mad that iPhone put video on the phone three weeks after I bought my damn Murphy's Law...

Ok I am trying to figure out how to post to my blog from my phone..obviously I am officially addicted

I decided that today was going to be my day. I mean really doesn't 10yrs of thankless servitude warrant at least one day where I can say "handle it yourself" ? I never go anywhere without the kids. So today is the day that I am going to go to see a Concert I have waited 25 yrs to see. Its ok if I let the kids eat junk all day and sit back and relax while waiting for 5 o'clock to arrive. Right? Like right now for instance my hair is done, my toes are painted and I am blogging while the kids are launching paper airplanes into the ceiling fan. There's no harm in that. Is there? Here's how I see it the planes get launched they hit the ceiling fan the dust flys off the blades the kids laugh, they're happy and my ceiling fan is getting dusted... Two birds one stone !!

I started my morning with my parents' equivalent of coffee and a newspaper. I had coffee and blogs. I stopped over at one of my favorites http://suburbanturmoil.blogspot.com/ to see what Lindsay had to say. I really enjoy her straightforward take on the topics and her post from yesterday was about death, the media, and the Internet. It got me thinking about my outlook own death, now be prepared it is not like most peoples.
I will start by saying what I always have; I feel like I was born at a funeral. I grew up with a large extended family and it seemed as though there a very few moments in my life that were not punctuated by a death.
By the time I was 13 I was convinced I was cursed, that the result of my caring about someone was that they would ultimately die and leave me. I didn't know the half of it, it only got worse. I can now .. knock on wood say; I have only lost one person dear to me in the last few years so it seems as death is giving me some time off.

Are you afraid to die? I typically answer this question with " Hell No, I get to rest when I'm dead." I don't think that death itself is the problem, its the ones that are left behind with the emptiness and pain of missing you that is most difficult. I think that all we can do is try leave those that we love and that love us with as many good memories as possible. I talk openly with my kids about death, I don't want them spending their lives afraid to enjoy themselves for fear of death or something terrible happening. We all die and the dying isn't whats important it's the living that we did in between birth and death that matters most. I have threatened everyone that I know with haunting if they give me some horribly depressing send off. I have demanded that there be a full on party with open bar, endless food and tons of music. I want no tears and no regrets. I plan on putting this in writing and have an enforcer appointed to ensure things go the way I want. Lets face it have a touch of the control freak so there is no sense in letting death be the thing that changes that.

I don't want some sappy obituary about how I was a wonderful wife, daughter and mother, because that is not always true. I have my faults. There are days when I yell too loud, I'm too bossy and I am definitely no June Cleaver. I want all of my friends to sit around and do what we do best, laugh so hard we nearly pee our pants. I know this isn't for everyone but its how I feel because all the crying and grieving and locking yourself in a dark room doesn't bring someone you love back. I am not say that there is no room for sadness because there is. But the best way to honor those you love and have lost is to live the life that you have left to the fullest and make every moment count.

It's finally Thursday, woo hoo! I have a million things to do today including continuing to work on Baboos blanket. He is threatening to hold me hostage until I complete it so I'm thinking I will work a deal out with him. If he picks up his messes I'll finish the blanket. I realize he is only six however, my thought process on the whole picking up your own messes thing is that it is just making them in reverse.
I've never really understood how three little people can make so many messes at once. It seems as though they move in reverse. If I'm cleaning the bedrooms they are destroying the living room and vice versa this pattern continues through out the house until I make my way back to the beginning only to find that it's just as messy as it was when I started. I have been threatening for quite a while now that I will go on strike and never clean again until they all go off to college. I am thoroughly aware that this is neither practical or feasible, but seriously am I the only one that feels like a hamster on a wheel.
Now to the woo hoo part, My best friend and soul sister YaYa did the most amazing thing for me. She got us Aerosmith tickets for their concert tomorrow night. Now I am fully aware that I am a way to close to forty mother of three who probably doesn't have a lot of business at a Rock Concert but It's Aerosmith. I have wanted to see them since I was twelve years old and every time the opportunity arose something always got in the way. So I am going come hell or high water and I fully plan on letting down my mommy do and having a rocking good time. Of course I turn on the weather this morning and hear our lovely weather girl report that after nearly a two month drought we may finally get rain... hooray.. not so much... its supposed to be tomorrow during the concert I have been waiting my whole life for. Murphy's Law Sucks. It never fails but this time it will not get in my way I will sit there in the rain if I have to, fight off the pterodactyl size mosquitoes and have the time of my life with my best friend and sing until I can't talk anymore ( which I am sure the hubby and kids will very much appreciate.. silence is golden after all).
Now needless to say I am going to have to find something to top this as her Christmas gift but I'm really not sure if I can come up with anything better than this. Short of giving her a weeks vacation in some exotic location away from her kids on a mommy hiatus !

I want to preface this by saying I love my Husband so much. He is complicated, funny, sweet, infuriating and most of all entertaining.
So this morning over coffee I thought I would open a dialog about preparing wills and having life insurance so I tell him I'm needing to look in to getting some life insurance, I'm thinking around $500,000 and with out skipping a beat his response was " Careful honey, you don't want to get to much it may give me an incentive" It took half a second before we both burst out laughing, but seriously... did he really just say that.

What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.
Albert Pine

I love this quote, it is something I try to live by each day. I know that I cannot take any of this with me but there is so much I can leave with those I love. All of my secret family recipes, my love for arts and crafts, the extended family that we have built. And the ability to have a sense of humor no matter how bad things get. Laughter is the fuel that keeps us going even when every obstacle possible seems to be blocking our way.

What is the quote that seems to fit your life?

When I was a little girl I used to sit along side my Big Mama and watch her crochet. When I finally got old enough for her to teach me she was to ill and I never learned.
So a few months ago I decided that no matter what I would learn to Crochet and thanks to the help of modern technology and YouTube I now consider myself an advid crocheter. So far I've made 3 blankets, some hats and a ton of scarves.
It seems as though eachtime I finish one project someone else makes a request and even though I grumble a little deep down I feel excited that someone thinks I have done a good job.
Now I find myself never leaving a craft store without some yarn, the kids hold me hostage in my room constantly reminding me that I haven't finished their projects. Don't tell anyone but I am loving every minute of it so now my sweet baboo is constantly asking " mamma did ju finish my blanky yet, ju need to huwwy up I can't wait no mo" So it looks like I will be pulling a few allnighters to get this done, I can't wait to see the look on his face when its finished.

I have always wanted to be a mom, I was always the one that would rather be holding a baby than playing with my friends. We tried for a while with no luck to get pregnant and the after finally finding a couple of amazing doctors, just when I was ready to give up and accept that I would never have my own children I found out that finally all of the tears, prayers, injections, and meds I was finally going to have what I had been waiting on my whole life.

In May of 1999 I was inducted into this crazy fraternity called motherhood. After many years of hoping, wishing and praying my beautiful little girl made her entrance into this world kicking and screaming something she still hasn't grown out of. This amazing person that surprises me each day. She is funny, infuriating, creative, intelligent, all of these things that I can't believe I helped to create.

In September of 2002 my fate was sealed when my Twins came along and completed our family. They couldn't wait and arrived 2 months early but after only two weeks in the NICU they were able to come home. They are amazing, they fight, laugh, kick and scream at each other but still can't stand to be away from each other either.

My husband teases me all of the time saying that I collect kids like most people collect shoes. I have become the mom that all the kids come to, so now I have 12 co-children that call me NeeNee..I love this family that we have built, it is everything that I have every wished and hoped for.

I decided to start this blog as a way to keep of with all that goes on. My memory has not been very reliable and there are so many things that I want to pass on.

Last week I found out that I most likely have Multiple Sclerosis, I have been going down hill for the last 9 years. I have been to so many doctors and had so many tests and have not been able to find out for sure. I will not know if I finally have the correct diagnosis until I get in with a specialist. It was odd, I feel relieved almost because once we know for sure I will be able to better manage my life. I mostly feel guilty, I don't want my kids to grow up and feel cheated or like I have been a burden to them. My plan is to pull myself up by my bootstraps put on my big girl panties and make the most out of the good days.