Tuesday, July 14, 2009

My First Post

I have always wanted to be a mom, I was always the one that would rather be holding a baby than playing with my friends. We tried for a while with no luck to get pregnant and the after finally finding a couple of amazing doctors, just when I was ready to give up and accept that I would never have my own children I found out that finally all of the tears, prayers, injections, and meds I was finally going to have what I had been waiting on my whole life.

In May of 1999 I was inducted into this crazy fraternity called motherhood. After many years of hoping, wishing and praying my beautiful little girl made her entrance into this world kicking and screaming something she still hasn't grown out of. This amazing person that surprises me each day. She is funny, infuriating, creative, intelligent, all of these things that I can't believe I helped to create.

In September of 2002 my fate was sealed when my Twins came along and completed our family. They couldn't wait and arrived 2 months early but after only two weeks in the NICU they were able to come home. They are amazing, they fight, laugh, kick and scream at each other but still can't stand to be away from each other either.

My husband teases me all of the time saying that I collect kids like most people collect shoes. I have become the mom that all the kids come to, so now I have 12 co-children that call me NeeNee..I love this family that we have built, it is everything that I have every wished and hoped for.

I decided to start this blog as a way to keep of with all that goes on. My memory has not been very reliable and there are so many things that I want to pass on.

Last week I found out that I most likely have Multiple Sclerosis, I have been going down hill for the last 9 years. I have been to so many doctors and had so many tests and have not been able to find out for sure. I will not know if I finally have the correct diagnosis until I get in with a specialist. It was odd, I feel relieved almost because once we know for sure I will be able to better manage my life. I mostly feel guilty, I don't want my kids to grow up and feel cheated or like I have been a burden to them. My plan is to pull myself up by my bootstraps put on my big girl panties and make the most out of the good days.