Thursday, February 25, 2010

Holy Crap Balls You've Got to Be Kidding Me!!!

Ok so here's the deal, yesterday I posted a thing on what I Meant to Say about Hub's back pain - well now I feel like crap. He got home about 4:00 yesterday in so much pain that he could hardly stand up. He ended up having to go to the hospital and was admitted. My Bestie Amanda took him cause 1 she's all medical and 2 he won't give her any crap and 3 my migrane was in overdrive and 4 we didn't want the kids freaking out and 5 I can't sleep in the daytime and she can so we decided we would swap out So I got here about 7:45 this morning so she could go home and get some sleep. She spent all night taking notes for me so I would know what was going on because hubs can take a baby aspirin and be walking around behind little animals. Now keep in mind we are both very worried about him so even though what you are going to read is very hysterical we really do love him very much.
I also posted a thing about how amazing my bff Amanda is and the following post is written by her and going to explain to you why I feel this way.


To the best of my knowledge and note taking skills, this is a record
of last night. I kept it so you would know what went on when you
weren't here in case you needed to know during the day. Hope it helps.
Love you.

Angela is e.r. Nurse. Excellent!!!

2300 - 187/107

2315 - 180/100
I. V. First round dalotid.

2330 - 187/95

2345 - 171/103
Gave pills for BP

0000 -184/113
More pain meds dalotid.

0015 - 171/98

0030 - 188/105
Everytime the BP cuff goes off roy jumps.

0045 - 183/109

0100 - 188/101

0115 - 168/109
Keeping for observation - RN just came in and told us

0130 - 169/107

0145 - 177/101
Mg drip

0200 - 174/102
Another BP pill

0215 - 181/103
At this point I totally realize that roy has restless leg syndrome.
Totally. And apparently his nose is itching. Big G he snores like a
freaking bear. And may have sleep apnea. AND this f'ing keyboard is

OMG the hottest guy just came in to check the soiled linen bin. Sweet
baby jesus. How the dirty rag boy was hot?!?

I almost dozed off and then this happened...
0230 - 170/109
Damned two thirty!! Damned bell!!!

I think I may go walk around a bit. But I am afraid they will come get
him when I'm gone. Piss. The damned bell keeps going off. I'm gonna
cut someone soon if they don't stop it!!

0245 - 168/108
Sweet baby Jesus... Roy just tried to itch his balls and must have
pulled the cath a bit. He just yelped like a little girl IN HIS SLEEP!
Oh wow. This is entertaining.

RN just came in: Hopefully upstairs in the next hour. He can have
pain meds every four hours. He HAS to have an MRI!! Tell the docs to
sedate him. Thoracic and lumbar. Not an open one. Must be closed. It's
a different picture. And without it he will keep returning until they
can do one and see what is wrong. BP meds three times a day. And
bloodwork drawn every eight hours. So far those are the instructions
leaving the e.r. I'm sure we will get more right before we leave and
head upstairs.

Ok I know roy is hungry but all I can think right now is I really wish
u would meet me for breakfast in the a.m. I am a tad hungry and I can
only imagine what it will be like in the morning.

0300 - 174/109
I need coffee!!

There is a guy that works in the e.r. that I may or may not have had
intimate relations with, in or around my senior year. Just sayin.

I need a fingernail file.

And he totally has sleep apnea. Really. He has to.

Well he is only mildly shaking now.

Holy restless limb syndrome!! His whole body is moving! No wonder you
wake up feeling beat up. He's like a german jumping bean. Craziness.

0315 - 169/106
How can he sleep through the BP cuff you ask? Heavy doses of the good
stuff I say!

He just woke up and asked me what were we talking about. LOL. I told
him we were talking about making snowmen.

Giving meds lopressor in I.V. For high blood pressure.

T315 or C315 (they may say either one) take the elevators in the e.r.

He is not really putting out enough urine to make them happy.

0330 - this one doesn't count. She was taking out his cath. It was sky
high!! Hahahaha.

0345 - 175/115

I just saw Roys hoo hoo. Great. He was trying to get his drawers on. I
am now blind. Oh. And he puked. In the elevator. Awesome. Thank Big G
he had a bucket.

We are now in the new room. It's nice.
He just farted the fart to end all farts. Awesome. They did put the nasal cannula on
with O2.

He is going back to bed. I think I may try to take a nap.

Hehe he keeps asking me questions. What did I say? How many of those
did I get? When did I get back? Lots of drug conversations happening.

Kristi is the charge nurse. VERY nice. Must put her name on survey.
Very very awesome.

0415 - temp 97 BP 162/112 in R arm. 156/111 L arm.

Why do they not have a comfy reclining type chair in hospital rooms.
My ass is going to fall off.

0500 - Just pulled out the bed. Woo hoo.

And...didn't sleep. Woo hoo.

0600 -
Adovan will be available for MRI.

If BP is still up when Dr. Thornhill gets here they will try some oral
and I.V. Meds.

Bring his living will up here if you can. He thinks it's in the gun
safe. He said to keep the priest away he doesn't wanna be jinxed. LOL.

MAKE him call a nurse when he gets up!!! He will fall. He needs a
nurse to help. NOT family.

Dr. Thornhill rounds either early a.m. or late late evening.

0700 - clonadine oral / dalotid I.V.

Rebecca is day nurse.

0715 - labs drawn. BMP CBC. Roy took his nasal cannula off. Just
lettin u know.

0730 - gave him a sprite. I need a beer. She said she didn't have any.
Stupid hospital. BP 160/99 the BP girl is hot. I'm sure he will say
something when he's more coherant.

Just a warning: he's getting all hooberdoo'd about the MRI. He has to
do it. HAS TO. So get ready. Just sayin. Oh and I told the nurses to
make sure he does not give you a hard time.

I love you. And wouldn't know what to do without you. I am and always
will be here for you. I am sorry all this crap is happening all at
once with everything. I will go home and sleep. You call me when you
need/want me back up here. I will come back tonight. You can't sleep
during the day and there is no reason for you to be up all day and up
here all night when you can't sleep at daytime. I don't mind.

It's what we do.

P. S. I may have iPhone elbow now. And my thumb might possibly fall
OFF. Just sayin.

Ok so that is what happened up until 7:00 this morning. Thank the Big G for Amazing friends. So far he is still about the same. His blood pressure is still the same. He had the MRI with the Adavan made it 15 min before the freak out but he made it through, he just got back to the room and the sweet nurse just gave him some more drugs. Thank the Big G for good Drugs!


CRAZYMOM said...

oh my gosh! I laughed out loud. I am so glad I don't know your hubby 'cause I feel like I am enjoying his misfortunes a little. Your friend is so funny! What a blessing she is to your family to help you like that!

Holly said...

Your friend is hilarious! If only all hospital notes were that entertaining. Hope hubs is doing OK.

sheila said...

OMG, this is hysterical! I LOVED it! lol. Loved the part about the hot rag guy and the cath. lol. She's got a sense of humor for sure! And a witty writer! ha ha ha!

The living will, etc etc etc..omg so funny! Loved the Sweet Baby jesus references. Great post!

Dee said...

My hubby just looked at me because I was cracking up laughing while reading this. What a pal you've got! Hope your DH is ok.

Sunday said...

I KNOW I should not be laughing this hard over your hubby's health scare...but I just can't help it.


More Than A Mom said...

my favourite parts ... the mother of all farts! I am blind because I saw his hoo hoo. He screamed like a little girl in his sleep. LOL

thanks for stopping by my blog.

Wym said...

I was thuroughly entertained by the text/chat-thing! Hope your man is doing better.